It is very similar to Arranged Marriage - Part 1 just that guy family goes to girl and same thing happens. No difference.
Hope you have enjoyed.
Hope you have enjoyed.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Arranged Marriage - Part 2
Continuing from the previous post, now that both family agreed it is time for guy and girl to meet BUT they cannot meet alone...oh! NO! NO! it is one of the things what family hate that a girl and guy meeting alone talking about marriage (yes, you can meet your friends who are guy/girl alone but not this). So a neutral venue is decided which is convenient for both the parties as one does not one to feel too desperate to meet. Well someone with girl will come either Mama or Chacha (uncles) or sisters or brothers and from guy side maybe his sister/brother whoever they are close to.
The middle man will be there to introduce each other and then take a leave. So everyone sits down and there is a initial silence when someone breaks the ice. And then talks starts with what do you do, where do you work, what your job profile exactly is, will you change the city etc etc which generally elders start speaking about. So if you have to look confident answer in short sentences and do not disclose more than asked for. After sometime they will say the girl and guy to sit in another table and talk.
Now the interesting part starts....yes really interesting, it is like meeting your potential future and deciding it one meeting if you like her or not.
You go away and try to find a place to sit away from your known people so they do not overhear the conversation. Now is the important part your brain has million questions but your speech does not respond to it where you are generally blank. First question generally asked is how many prospects have each other met. If the other person has highest number tell them to take the lead or if both are same then best would be talk about movies, music, travelling, etc etc. Then come to all important topic, what do you want to see in your husband some have lots of fancy requirements as if they want a Ferrari while some are happy with a high version of Verna. Then talks move onto habits like drinking, smoking, eating non-veg (in our religion we do not eat non-veg but most do) and I must say answer those correctly because these are the things you cannot hide. Funny though you generally forget to ask about do you cook? do you believe in religion? do you pray everyday in a temple? YES for some it is a big deal. And to top it off you start talking about work, future plans in career etc etc.
After all of above discussion there is a big long silence which is the cue that talking is done and we both do not have anything to ask that is the time when you say let us go back with the folks sitting on the table. Again some discussions will happen on the table and then bill is paid because you have to eat or drink something. Everyone greets each other and says goodbye.
When you come home is another part where your folks are really really interested on what did you speak about. So wait for Part 3.
The middle man will be there to introduce each other and then take a leave. So everyone sits down and there is a initial silence when someone breaks the ice. And then talks starts with what do you do, where do you work, what your job profile exactly is, will you change the city etc etc which generally elders start speaking about. So if you have to look confident answer in short sentences and do not disclose more than asked for. After sometime they will say the girl and guy to sit in another table and talk.
Now the interesting part starts....yes really interesting, it is like meeting your potential future and deciding it one meeting if you like her or not.
You go away and try to find a place to sit away from your known people so they do not overhear the conversation. Now is the important part your brain has million questions but your speech does not respond to it where you are generally blank. First question generally asked is how many prospects have each other met. If the other person has highest number tell them to take the lead or if both are same then best would be talk about movies, music, travelling, etc etc. Then come to all important topic, what do you want to see in your husband some have lots of fancy requirements as if they want a Ferrari while some are happy with a high version of Verna. Then talks move onto habits like drinking, smoking, eating non-veg (in our religion we do not eat non-veg but most do) and I must say answer those correctly because these are the things you cannot hide. Funny though you generally forget to ask about do you cook? do you believe in religion? do you pray everyday in a temple? YES for some it is a big deal. And to top it off you start talking about work, future plans in career etc etc.
After all of above discussion there is a big long silence which is the cue that talking is done and we both do not have anything to ask that is the time when you say let us go back with the folks sitting on the table. Again some discussions will happen on the table and then bill is paid because you have to eat or drink something. Everyone greets each other and says goodbye.
When you come home is another part where your folks are really really interested on what did you speak about. So wait for Part 3.
Arranged Marriage - Part 1
This story is divided amongst 3 parts:
Part 1: Where girl family comes to meet to the boy family
Part 2: Boy meets the Girl with some other family members at the neutral venue
Part 3: Boy family goes to the Girl family.
PART 1:
Lot of you must be in that phase now where everyone near and dear you and those who are really not interested in your life do ask you that question "When are you going to get married?" so basically to shut up their mouth and not being asked more irritating questions, I reply them very nicely "This Year!" and they shut up and go. Really found this the most amazing answer for the most asked question in the mankind history. They are just really happy when they get a positive answer, well just try to answer in negative or neutral well they bug you again and keep on asking you more questions till you feel like ripping their hair off or just walk away (which is rude by the way).
Well my parents think, now I am old enough to get married and must do so quickly well they are more excited than me. So finally we decide who to meet a girl's family who visit our home to see where do we stay how is our house and other things like ask me few questions. This is how it goes.
There are around 4 family members of girls side who comes with a middle man (well there is always a middle man who knows both side of the family and they are very keen to get each and every single guy/girl who they know with other single girl/guy who they know). They all get seated, now the head or the senior of the group introduces everyone who they have come with (which you tend to forget after 10 mins into the meeting) and then some talks happen where the middle man tells good things about the senior (aka Father) of the single guy/girl. Now talks range from where they stay, politics, food, travel, some other non-sense while the guy just sits and looks around the room or finding a way to run away from that room (which will never happen).
After all the non-sense talks finally they start to ask the guys some questions, where are you working, what profile do you hold, what exactly you have to do there, why you did not do MBA (well for, non-MBAiets you have to face this difficult question all the time). After 5 to 10 minutes of talking they again go on some family history and their roots and then more about current events etc etc.
Well during the time the family will be served till they beg not to get more food and some are gracious enough to see the house by showing that they are not getting the network but move around the full house. After an hour of more boring talks finally family decide they have had enough and need to move so they can discuss more with the other members of the family.
End of Part 1. Await Part 2 coming soon.
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