Arranged Marriage - Part 1

This story is divided amongst 3 parts:
Part 1: Where girl family comes to meet to the boy family
Part 2: Boy meets the Girl with some other family members at the neutral venue
Part 3: Boy family goes to the Girl family.

PART 1:

Lot of you must be in that phase now where everyone near and dear you and those who are really not interested in your life do ask you that question "When are you going to get married?" so basically to shut up their mouth and not being asked more irritating questions, I reply them very nicely "This Year!" and they shut up and go. Really found this the most amazing answer for the most asked question in the mankind history. They are just really happy when they get a positive answer, well just try to answer in negative or neutral well they bug you again and keep on asking you more questions till you feel like ripping their hair off or just walk away (which is rude by the way).

Well my parents think, now I am old enough to get married and must do so quickly well they are more excited than me. So finally we decide who to meet a girl's family who visit our home to see where do we stay how is our house and other things like ask me few questions. This is how it goes.

There are around 4 family members of girls side who comes with a middle man (well there is always a middle man who knows both side of the family and they are very keen to get each and every single guy/girl who they know with other single girl/guy who they know). They all get seated, now the head or the senior of the group introduces everyone who they have come with (which you tend to forget after 10 mins into the meeting) and then some talks happen where the middle man tells good things about the senior (aka Father) of the single guy/girl. Now talks range from where they stay, politics, food, travel, some other non-sense while the guy just sits and looks around the room or finding a way to run away from that room (which will never happen).

After all the non-sense talks finally they start to ask the guys some questions, where are you working, what profile do you hold, what exactly you have to do there, why you did not do MBA (well for, non-MBAiets you have to face this difficult question all the time). After 5 to 10 minutes of talking they again go on some family history and their roots and then more about current events etc etc.

Well during the time the family will be served till they beg not to get more food and some are gracious enough to see the house by showing that they are not getting the network but move around the full house. After an hour of more boring talks finally family decide they have had enough and need to move so they can discuss more with the other members of the family.

End of Part 1. Await Part 2 coming soon.

Marriage Proposals

There is a time in life when your parents start to ask you the most dangerous question which most of you dread to hear the whole life and those are:

1.       When are you planning to get married? 

2.       Do you have any bf/gf or should we look for a boy/girl for you?

3.       You know Mr. XX son/daughter got married. When will be your turn?

And these are the times when you want to just run away from home and look for solace. The worst lots are person who do not stay with their parents but visit them after every 3 - 6 months and your conversation are on mostly about when you are going to get married.

Now fast forward a bit...you buckle down to your parents regular questions and start to look for a girl/boy (this is for who do not have bf/gf during that time)

Step 1: Create a profile up on websites or your caste has a matrimony group. Your parents duly fill up the form. With all details and an amazing profile photo of yours *smiling*. Parents tell all relatives and friends that you are ready for marriage. 

Step 2: Ok for the lucky few, you get 1000 proposals and you have to select few where you can meet them. The order in which person (from now on guy and girl will be referred to as a person) is shortlisted are

1.       Looks: Fair gets most views, darker people lesser until the person selecting is dark they are not much of a chooser.

2.       If the person is shortlisted in looks then comes studies, it is similar to job market MBA's in finance gets higher priority then comes other big education CA, Doctor, Engineers, then BCom, MCom etc

3.       You then shortlist yourself into what does the family do well the parents are more interested in that. 

4.       Then next part where does that person work or is in a business, in real world person likes stability and first priority goes to the person with a job. 

And after the full short listing you come down to 10 or more.

Step 3: Your parents will start to get connected with the friends who know the family of the shortlisted person and try to find the history and geography of the selected person and family. Now the number comes down to very few.

Step 4: Now your profile goes to the person who you liked and selected. Now the waiting part starts, you are not guaranteed that person will approve of you. But let us talk the best scenario, that person approves to a meeting.

Step 5:  Parents decide to meet at a neutral location such as a restaurant and you reach there all ready decked up to impress. The person walks in and almost you get the first impression and in your mind you decide what to say, what not to say. This is mostly like a date where you come to know about a person but with interruptions from parents if they decide to join.

Step 6: Best case scenario, so the person likes you and you that person, you continue talking on phone and meet once or twice a week to know that person better. Now here where the family are getting happy that yes there is hope. And some in few weeks and some in few months decide to slide the ring in the finger.

Now here comes my point, it is all so amazing and interesting but then we are playing a roulette betting on a number and hoping that ball lands on that, some are very firm that they want that number only while some are ready to play between the colours making them have more options. 

But in the above process what we miss to see is that a BCom person is a much better than a MBA person but what is written on paper makes us go woo before even meeting the real one. And I am a believer of you know the person the best if you travel with them, take them to some resort with common friends different rooms everyone is happy but take them for some rough terrain trip and the real person is alive. This is where you know how that person will react in a real life scenario with you and friends. And 1 trip is not enough no....you will need more than one, like some are good judge people and some just take time (like me). 

I seriously hope my parents make me go through the above process.......

Parents Mentality

I am very lucky to have my parents who have now understood the finer things in life and at which winning is not everything. I am taking up this topic just for one reason...how winning is important to parents which might not be so much for their kids.

Aunt from US: Hey you look tired?
Me: Yes
AFUS: Why?
Me: Was playing cricket for four hours.
AFUS: Ohh! nice! so did you win?
Me: Yes...(i wanted to say..i really don't care if I win or lose all I did was had fun.)

Yes, yes I don't have kids and don't know much about it though no formal studies on that but basic nature is...why are parents so sucked up on did you win or not?

The questions should be Did you enjoy your game? or Did you learn something new?

Here they are emphasizing all about winning and losing in a cricket match which is played in a ground with guys who just want to have fun on a weekend.

Another interesting story which I heard was this in a Parents and kids counseling room:

Counselor: So tell me what would you like your kids to become?
Parent 1: Engineer
Parent 2: Doctor
Parent 3: CA
kept on going till the last one.
Counselor: mmm interesting...so no one wants their kid to become a well behaved and helpful human being....

Look at all the things which we do today is run a rat race even which we win we are still a rat...quoted by someone which I don't remember. Parents compare ohh look at XYZ he has gone to US and you are still here...the kid would just think and say see what Mr. Nandan Nilenkani or Mr. Sunil Mittal has done and you are still here.

So to all the parents out there..I know it is a big bad world out there but if you constantly remind your kid about it surely they will be shit scared to go out there and enjoy instead just run around.

Dinner

Left office at dot 6 pm and reached home at 8 pm (which was a record), hanging out from Andheri was a cool experience (although doing it for past 7 years).

At Vashi messaged Tal on whether she would be free for dinner and to my surprise she said yes. After few messages here and there decided to go to Pop Tates. But as always got a messaged when i reached Khar that she had cousins coming at her place so had to drop the plan. Reached home, mom and dad were watching TV and came to know that mom also had reached home at around 7:30 pm. Decided to go to "Flag Restaurant", after concensus. As we have being to this place umpteen number of times kind of know what is there in the menu, at times we never open up the menu card to place the order.

As dad likes Indian style food we ordered Crunchy vegetables and Blama Vegetable. Crunchy vegetable was small veg pieces cooked in chinese sauce. Blama Vegetable was a mix of vegetables made in a roll and cooked in garlic sauce. Tried them long time before but really loved it. Main course was Veg Tawa Bhuna, it is a dry vegetable with mushrooms, baby corn, capsicum to top it off with sauted onions. The best thing about this place is you get some off the hook Indian vegetables.

Day in office was bit ok, reached before time and seeing Prasad already there working on his MAC. Checked mails some websites and then went on to play Bioshock. Bioshock is one of those shooter games which i am no good at but hell it is so much fun and always there is WTF moment. Collecting guns and upgrading weapons were not fun before this game.

Weekend will be fun (hopefully) going for a terrace party and then will go with colleagues to Dahanu for the weekend.

Things learned: Never plan things on the same day!!!!

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